A few openers, in case you need them

There's no perfect script. These are starting lines you can borrow when your own won't come.

• Advance care planning
  "I want to make sure we know what you want, while we still have time to talk about it calmly."
  Then ask: "If something happened tomorrow that meant you couldn't speak for yourself, what would you want us to do?"
• DNR / code status
  "The hospital is going to ask us this. I'd rather we decide it together than someone decide it for us."
  Then ask: "If your heart stopped, would you want CPR - knowing what it usually means at this stage?"
• Telling family
  "I want to tell you what's happening. It's hard to say out loud, so bear with me."
  Then ask: "What's the part you most want to understand right now?"
• Driving
  "I love you. This is one of the harder ones, and I'm bringing it up because I love you."
  Then ask: "Can we talk about what driving has felt like lately?"
• Money / POA
  "I'm not asking because anything is wrong. I'm asking because I want to do this right when the time comes."
  Then ask: "Who do you want signing things on your behalf if you couldn't?"
• Moving to more care
  "I want to talk about what would make life easier for you, not just safer."
  Then ask: "What would have to be true for more help at home - or a different place - to feel okay?"
• Hospice
  "Hospice doesn't mean giving up. It means we get to focus on comfort instead of chasing the next test."
  Then ask: "What would 'a good day' look like for you right now?"